Welcome to the Beautiful View Podcast, where we encourage you to look for opportunities in your life to see a beautiful view. I'm Candy. 

And I'm Paul. Today we are going to be talking about keeping your marriage fresh. Dating your spouse. 

This is going to be a fun one. We'll offer some fun ideas for time with your honey, how to break out of a rut, and a little outside of the box thinking. 

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the beautiful view. 

All right, so what have we been up to this last week? 

Well, we had our you and me day, and we were hoping to do the whole day in Bettendorf. But we started there, and then we ended up going to one of our favorite places, which is LeClaire, Iowa. So we roamed around there. It was kind of a really interesting day. Lots of different things that we did. Yeah. 

Had all the little shops in LeClaire. We did, yeah. Found a couple of little goodies. We actually ended up in Davenport to eat supper. We ate the Mexican food place there. 

Yeah, we did. We decided... 

We were kind of all over the place. 

Yeah, we were in LeClaire and we had been to a little Mexican restaurant. in Davenport just a couple months ago, three months ago or so. And I pulled it up on Google Maps. I'm like, we're 7 minutes away. 

Yeah. 

So let's just go. 

So we did, and it was delicious. 

Yes, and then we had the anniversary, the 9th anniversary of the brewery. 

Yep. that was on Saturday. So our day started with, it was kind of like a collaboration kind of thing. So the Friends of the State Park, which we are a part of, as well as the Friends of River Ridge Brewing, which I'm the manager, so I'm a part of. collaborated to do a volunteer day at the state park. 

Yeah. 

So kind of a cleanup day, get everything ready for the fall, kind of cooler weather coming, lots of mulch and pulling weeds and all that kind of stuff. So. 

There were two groups, one group, was headed up by the scouts. And so they went and split wood for the campground there. They sell the firewood to raise money for the park. And so they were splitting, they had three log splitters going, split a whole ton of wood. And then we went over to the butterfly garden and we were doing the mulching. So that was cool. 

Yeah, which we have a little spot over there that we maintain. try to maintain during the very busy summer. 

Yeah, in our spare time. 

Yeah, so got to work on that a little bit, but it was kind of fun. All of... All of our friends were there. There were probably a total of 50 people there. So including the brewery owner, the brewer, our marketing girl, they all came out too. So it was really fun to kind of have our friends and co-workers and stuff over there. 

It was a good day. 

Yeah. Life has been pretty crazy around here. Some days I have to look a little extra hard to find the beautiful view. 

Yeah, it's been that way. 

I'm about ready to throw my phone in the river some days. 

Please don't do that. It's expensive. So, but we do, we have some, the light at the end of the tunnel. We have a camping trip coming up next week. 

Yes, we do. 

And so that's going to be so nice. 

Yeah, we're camping at Backbone State Park, which we will have very minimal cell phone service. 

Yes, we will. 

Which that's just as good. 

That's good. 

And that's intentional. I'm actually though, I'm going to leave my phone at home for the week. 

Wow. 

Leaving it at home. 

Okay. 

So we'll talk a little bit more about that later. But anyway, today we are talking about dating your spouse and the importance of doing so. 

Yes, I like this topic. 

I know you do. 

So let's jump into things. 

Okay. 

What is your favorite date experience? 

Well, I love it when we do something spontaneous. 

Okay. 

I think probably my favorite thing is when we both kind of realize that we have a day off. 

Okay, yeah. 

And I have a day off and you have a day off and then we're just like, let's go do something. Let's go drive somewhere, do a day trip, find somewhere fun to eat. 

Yeah. 

Find something to explore, anything like that, those kinds of things. Day dates. 

Okay. 

Those are my favorite. What's your favorite? 

I also love our you and me days. That's a really special experience. But I also do like to go somewhere new to eat, like a new restaurant, somewhere we haven't been before. 

Yeah, sure. 

Maybe a type of cuisine that we've never tried before. That way we can sort of talk about the menu, what we're going to choose to eat, the foods, the restaurant, the kind of vibe of the place. 

Kind of a whole experience. 

Yeah, it gives us something to talk about other than the usual things that we always talk about. 

Sure, right. Yeah, that's fair. 

I like that. 

Yeah. The thing is, when you're young and in love, That newlywed phase. You can't imagine not wanting to spend every moment with your spouse. 

I know, right? Then those initial moments of wedded bliss turn into years of new jobs. mortgages, dirty diapers, and yet another round of paying taxes. 

There's that. Dating your spouse often gets lost in the mix of life. If you think about the last time you went on a date with your spouse and your answer is, on her birthday, or we watched the game together last night, it might be time to get serious about dating your spouse. 

A common misconception about going on dates is they cost too much. Dates don't It's true. I think sometimes we use that as an excuse. Dinner and a movie might not fit your budget, but what's stopping us from going for a nice walk through the neighborhood like we did this morning? 

Yeah. 

Or in the park, like we did on our You and Me day, we found this park that we hadn't seen before and so we went for a walk. 

It was a nice trail and it was beautiful. 

It was beautiful, yeah. Or you can cook a nice meal at home and enjoy a movie while cuddling on the couch. You know, that sounds great. 

That does sound great. You might be thinking, why is it important to go on dates with your spouse when technically you see each other every day? How many times do we though get to the end of a week and realize that we haven't spent any Quality time together. I would say a lot. 

Yeah, it happens more often than not. We get wrapped up in our routines, our jobs, our kids' activities, and so many other things that demand our attention. And unfortunately, our spouse is often the one that gets set aside. 

Yeah, that's true. Dating your spouse is so important for married couples. Quality time together strengthens our marriages. uninterrupted time to talk, to dream, to enjoy each other's company. Those are the times that we reconnect after a busy week. 

By making an intentional effort to connect with your spouse, you will reduce stress, improve communication, foster mutual appreciation, and provide a stable foundation that benefits the entire family. 

Yeah, it's a priority thing. By prioritizing your relationship with your spouse, you show them that they are a priority in your life. Regular dates help maintain the spark of the relationship by reminding you both why you fell in love in the 1st place and reinforcing emotional and romantic bonds. 

Yeah, baby. 

I knew you'd like that part. 

All of that sounds great. There have been times when we have been really good at implementing this. We aim for our you and me days once a month where we escape for an entire day and focus on each other. Sometimes though, those days are hard to schedule in. 

They are. That's just it. has to be a priority. We have to be adamant and protective of our time together. It's a great idea to get those dates on the calendar early because we want them to be something to look forward to. We don't want them to be an afterthought. And as I mentioned earlier, like spontaneity is nice, But sometimes we need to be intentional and plan things. 

Absolutely. That's why we aim for the 23rd of each month. Even if it doesn't happen on the exact day, we try and make it happen close to that day. And I also think that if we rely on spontaneity, it just means it won't happen. Sometimes we're just not that spontaneous. 

That's true. 

So at least having this day scheduled once a month on the 23rd, it provides like a base level dating routine. 

Something to aim for. 

Yeah. 

And as we mentioned earlier, dates don't have to be elaborate or expensive. 

No. 

Keep it simple. 

Yes. 

They can be as simple as a movie night at home, a walk, or a shared meal without distractions. 

Yeah, I purchased movie tickets for like 2 days from now. 

You did. We haven't been to a movie in the theater in a long time. 

I know. I went to the movies with Tyler a little while back, and so I really liked the movie theater that he recommended. And so we get to go on Thursday. That's cool. I'm excited. 

Sometimes we just have to get creative. I did a little research, so this is kind of fun. Are you ready for this? 

Yeah, sure. 

So I did a little research and a little bit of brainstorming, and I can't wait to try a few of these little ideas. So are you ready for some of them? 

Sure. 

Okay. So the first one, this first group of things is like things at home date ideas. Okay. 

All right. 

So the first one is to recreate create a special moment. 

Okay. 

So if you think back to like your early, our early days of, when we were newlyweds and, we'd put a little candle on the table and we'd turn off the main lights and we'd cook a nice dinner and sit there and just have a little nice evening at home by candlelight. And you can also when's the last time we pulled out like our wedding pictures and stuff? I think that's kind of fun. 

Remember, like all the scrapbooks that you put together over the years? 

Oh my gosh, I spent so many hours putting those scrapbooks together. We should really pull them out at some point. Just go through and just reminisce a little bit. How sweet would that be? 

It would be very sweet. 

Yeah. 

Another idea is to have a themed night. So you could find a new recipe, something you haven't tried before, and maybe cook it together. 

Like, we do love to cook together. 

Share out the tasks of doing that and make a nice meal. Or you can host your own blind tasting of some new wines or craft beers or maybe some desserts. I mean, whatever, just to try something different together. I think that sounds like fun. Yeah. 

Okay. Okay. So another idea is to engage in creative challenges. Challenge each other to a bake off. 

Oh, that would be fun. We could have a great British bake off. 

That would be fun. Or a paint and sip night using an online tutorial. I think that could be hilarious. 

It might be hilarious. And fun. 

And we do this a lot, but for kind of a hands-on project, you could tackle a home DIY project together. So we've done that before. This actual our podcast studio, that was kind of a joint effort in doing that. So that's kind of fun. 

Yep. Another thing that you could do is to enjoy some friendly, friendly competition. So maybe you could hold a game night with board games, video games, or cards. Or for something different, try an at-home escape room kit. for all the people that beat you in the previous game, the cards or the board games, like you could stick them in a room and lock them in there. 

Yeah. 

And see if they can get out. 

Yeah. 

Or maybe build a puzzle together. So, okay, you have to know this girl gets competitive. 

I'm a little bit competitive. So I'm not really usually allowed to be part of game nights. 

No. In the past, when we had our kids all at home, She's been known to cause a few tears. 

Not intentionally. It just everybody always ended up in tears. I don't know. I don't understand. 

But it might work for you somehow. It might. 

If you like board games, don't let us to sway you from. Yeah, that's a that's a. 

Try it. 

Try it. I like it. Okay. Another idea is to plan for the future. We actually did this the other night and I'm not going to give away all the details, but So create a bucket list. And in our last podcast, we talked about creating like a fall bucket list and stuff. So that's always fun to kind of create a bucket list. But what if, what do you, what if you sat down and you did a bucket list for the things that you want to do like in the next five years, the next 10 years? You can also work on like kind of a dream board where you put all the things together to kind of visualize your goals for the future. As a couple, it's important to have goals. Whether they're like, financial goals or places you want to visit or, things like that, things to work toward or whatever. So. 

And another thing that you've put on here is to... You're going to blame me. Is to write love letters. 

You used to write really good love letters. I don't think I've had a love letter in quite some time. 

Well, and that's... If you, I mean, does my face look guilty right now? Phil's guilty. So it says here, take some time to sit down with a pen and paper and write a love letter to your spouse. 

Old school. 

Old school. Read them to each other or save them to be read at a later date. 

I don't know about the reading them to each other. That sounds a little over the top, but I don't know. I always like a nice little note. Something else we used to do was I used to leave like little post-it notes around the house for you and stuff. And anyway. 

So let's talk about low cost or free dates. 

Yeah. So one of the really kind of neat things that we like to do is to kind of explore the area that we're in. So when we RV'd full time, we would do that a lot. So wherever we were camped, we would kind of check out places like within a two hour drive of where we were. And we'd just go for a drive and just go for kind of just go explore, go see what's around us, the landscape, the little back roads, all of those kinds of things. 

Yeah, usually once we had landed, we usually had to go to the store or something. So then we ended up getting into like whatever city we were close to or town. But yeah, that's really cool to kind of explore somewhere new. 

Yeah, and a lot of times when you're doing that, you come across maybe like a farmer's market or like we've come across like a little little like music in the park, those kinds of things when you go out for a little local drives and you hit these little tiny towns and just different little things that pop up. That's kind of fun. 

We even used to do that here in Bellevue when we used to come here for the summer times and we were at the RV park. We would just go off and drive down a country Rd. somewhere and see if we could find something interesting. 

Yeah, and we usually did. 

Yeah. Another thing that you could do is reconnect with nature. So maybe pack a picnic lunch for a local park, go for a hike like we did in Bettendorf, or try stargazing in your backyard. 

Yeah, that sounds nice. 

Yeah, we should be able to do that pretty soon here on our camping trip. 

Yeah, we should. All right, another thing you can do is be a tourist in your own town. So isn't it interesting the town that you kind of grow up in and stuff. 

Oh, you live in for a very time. 

Yes. So I grew up in San Angelo, Texas. 

Yes. 

And it wasn't until we started RVing and kind of like... exploring things around. I didn't, I had never been to the San Angelo State Park before. I had never been to the Railroad Museum there. I had been to Fort Concho a couple of times as a kid. But we took the kids and stuff as, you know, and as a grownup to go back to that. Like that is just, that's so neat. So to kind of walk around and even like here in Bellevue, like just to take a day and hit all the little shops on a Saturday or something. 

We were actually talking about that, how now we live here in town. We don't do that much anymore. Like, as I said, when we came here for the summers, and this was just the destination in the year, we would go out and explore the back roads and stuff. But we don't do that as much now. Even just sometimes I'm in the house here working, and then I have to like walk across to, you know, go see you at work. And I'm like, I haven't been outside all day. So it is. That's crazy, isn't it? 

So it is kind of nice sometimes just to mix it up and just kind of get out and do something in your own in your own town. 

Yeah, it is. Another thing you can do is enjoy playful nostalgia. 

What do you mean by that? 

Well, you could take it in turns making playlists of songs from different eras of your relationship. 

Oh. 

So now we have what, 20 something years of music to go back to. And that could be. 

That could be fun. 

That could be fun. Okay. You could also play arcade games. 

Okay. 

Fly a kite or visit a playground. Okay. I think I would get hurt. 

I tried to think what that would look like. It could make for some funny pictures though. Anyway. 

Yeah. 

All right. So the most important thing is to focus on each other. 

Yes. 

Use dates as an opportunity to step away from those household chores, work, your family responsibilities to focus solely on your spouse. 

That's what it's about. And then to make it a regular practice, aim for consistent dates, whether weekly or monthly, to nurture the relationship and keep the bond strong over time. 

Yeah. 

We aim for the 23rd of every month for our You and Me day, since our anniversary is February 23rd. 

It is. 

That's easy for us to remember and gives us something to aim for. 

Yeah, and now our day doesn't always get planned right on that day. Sometimes if the. 

Life happens. 

Yeah, and if the 23rd on a Tuesday. I mean, for example, around here, there aren't a lot of places open on a Tuesday. So we might push it to the Thursday to like the 25th, like intentionally so that there are more things available to us. It really doesn't matter as long as we make it a priority. 

Yes. And I believe we've been fairly consistent about those day dates, right? 

Yeah, we have. I mean, we've, I don't know that we've really missed any. Yeah, no, we haven't missed a month. So whether you choose to go out or stay in, spend money or go the cheap route, dress up or go casual, here's why regular dates with your spouse are key. First of all, your spouse is fun. 

Yes. 

Do you know how I know this? 

How? 

Because you wouldn't have married them if they were lazy, boring, and uninteresting. 

Yeah, that's true. 

Do you remember the excitement of your dating years? You fell in love with the person you loved being around. 

Yes. 

And guess what? Those feelings you had when you first dated, they're still in there. 

Somewhere. 

Hopefully not too far from the surface. 

We can begin to forget those fond feelings that we had for one another in the midst of like work, cleaning a house, paying the bills, or kids' soccer games. Making regular time together a priority can be a powerful way to rediscover the fun. 

Yeah. Number 2, your spouse is your friend. Whether your relationship is strong right now or very strained, Your spouse probably knows you better than anyone else. They have been with you through all of life's highs and lows. As with any friendship, you need time together to connect, to talk about life, share a laugh or two. Spending regular time together is a powerful reminder of your friendship and all that you share in common. 

Yeah. If calling it a date night creates too many expectations or a need to impress, try thinking of this time with your spouse as hanging out with my friend. 

Yeah, your best friend. 

Your best friend. 

Yeah. Number 3, break up the routine. You may know that your spouse is fun and you may know that they are your friend, but sometimes we forget those things. 

Yeah, sometimes we do. 

In the chaos of life, and in our case, running a business, managing a business, producing this podcast. Sometimes we function more as like co-workers who are just trying to keep this thing running. 

Yeah, that's the danger. And it's so easy to fall into that cycle. Now, most of these things might be necessary, but they often do very little to promote a healthy relationship. In fact, for most couples, the daily grind creates tension and unresolved minor issues that have a way of multiplying over. 

Yeah, I want to set a goal for us. 

Okay. 

Are you ready? 

Yeah. 

I want to do a weekly date night. 

Okay. 

A weekly date night would allow us space to step out of our routines, to stop being co-workers, and to build on our relationship. Now, We don't always make this happen on a weekly basis. It doesn't always happen that way. 

Sure. 

But I would say that would be our aim. It's a goal. 

It's a good goal to have. 

And putting this episode together has really, I think, challenged us. As we challenge you, it challenges us. 

Happens every time. 

Every time. 

The more we experience together, the more connection we have. Experience creates connection. 

Yeah. 

Some of my closest friends over the years have been made while working on a shared goal. 

Yeah. 

So that might be working on a car with a friend or in a Bible study group or on a volunteer project. 

Yeah, and it's because those experiences that you shared with those friends created connection. The same is true for our 6 1/2 years of full-time RVing. The experiences that we shared together as a couple, as a family, and with the friends that we made along the way created connection. Just because we're back to a typical American life, we shouldn't give up those experiences. 

Right. If your best memories together are all pre-kids or more than five years ago, you might be in trouble. It's time to go out and do something together. anything and create a shared experience. Go hiking, take a cooking class, explore a state park near you, eat at a new restaurant. All of these things could create a shared experience that deepens your connection with each other. 

I love to check out the events on Facebook. That is a really great way to find things going on around you. So We have found some of the coolest experiences just doing that through Facebook events. So pick a date, find something near you happening on that date, and go do it. 

Here is our challenge for you today. Husbands. Are you investing in your wife and reminding her how she holds a uniquely wonderful place in your heart? 

And wives, are you making your relationship a priority and showing your husband he still means the world to you? 

When we set aside a weekly time for just the two of us, it goes a long way towards strengthening the heart of our relationship. 

It's important, friends. Make time to prioritize your relationship each week, and you will reap the fruit for years to come. You might be thinking, does it have to be every week? You can answer this question within your own relationship, but here's what I think. If I plan on doing something every week, I know what will happen at least a few times a month. 

Sure. 

Right? So, but if we only plan for once a month, what happens when we miss that one day? 

Yeah, and then it's like 2 months apart. 

Yeah. 

And then you get out of that routine. 

Yeah, And that, we may not always hit our target, but at least it's on our radar. It's a goal to work toward. 

For us, this goal becomes a helpful guideline to keep us focused on what we want to see happen in our relationship. If this feels completely undoable and stressful in your marriage, feel free to create your own approach. 

Yeah, but if this helps you and your spouse keep your eyes on spending quality time together, then join us in making this part of your weekly plans. Let's date our spouse like we mean it. 

The Bible portrays marriage as a sacred, permanent, and exclusive covenant instituted by God to be a lasting union and a picture of Christ's love for the church. 

Yeah, we'll leave you with two scriptures today on this topic. The first one is a very common scripture that's used in weddings and it's found in Matthew 19, 6. It says, so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. There will always be things that come up and challenge the harmony of our marriages in some way. But God designed this covenant of marriage to hold us together in and through the hard times. Marriage was made for the tough times. When we make an effort to connect deeply with our spouse, that oneness carries us through the hardest times. 

The second scripture is in Ephesians 4 and verse 32. It says, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. There is a familiarity with our spouse that does not exist with anyone else. This can lead to us taking them for granted or taking things out on them unfairly. But just as God has treated us with kindness, grace, and forgiveness, we should also try to do the same for each other. 

Absolutely. That is truly the secret sauce for keeping your marriage fresh. 

Keep it saucy. 

Saucy. So our challenge to you this week is to have a conversation with your spouse about your marital date life. 

Yes. 

Do you feel like you're currently prioritizing time with each other? 

When was the last time you went on a date with your spouse? A week ago, a month ago, or so long ago you can't remember it. 

Regardless of the answer to those questions, most importantly, how do you want to move forward? How can you prioritize consistent, scheduled, protected time together to reconnect on a regular basis? Remember, dates don't have to be expensive or elaborate to be meaningful. 

Some of the best date nights are the most creative ones. 

Absolutely. Most importantly, focus on quality, not quantity. If you're too busy for a weekly night out, remember that consistent, intentional connection is more important than the scale or the cost of the date. Having coffee together in the morning like we do almost every morning. 

Almost every morning. Yeah. 

Or taking a walk around the neighborhood like we did this morning for the first time in a long time can be just as effective. 

Yes. Quality time spent with the most important person in your life is one of the most beautiful views that there is. 

Yeah. Thank you for joining us today. Our hope is always to inspire and encourage our listeners. We hope you're inspired to keep your marriage fresh and come up with a plan to prioritize quality time with your spouse. Strong marriages are a beautiful thing. 

If you like what we do here at the Beautiful View Podcast, you can show your appreciation by becoming a supporting member for only $5 a month. We'll send you a members-only Beautiful View Podcast sticker and a weekly encouraging newsletter to your inbox. Your support helps cover our production costs. The link to sign up is in our show notes. 

Also, be sure to check out our merch store. We've added a few new items for the fall and winter season. 

Yes, and as we conclude each episode, we always like to give the topic for the next one. So what are we going to be talking about next time? 

Well, our next episode is going to be called Unplugged. 

Oh, yeah. 

I had a little trial run of this last Thursday when we went on a day date. 

Yes, you did. 

I left my phone. I went home that day. 

It was wonderful. 

And I didn't miss it. No, We are basically doing a little experiment this next week when we go camping. I'm going to leave my phone at home for five days. 

Can you do it? 

Oh, I can't. I'm going to take notes on how all of that goes. And we'll share the outcome with you on this experiment in our next episode. 

So you're going to have to go old school and take like a notepad and pen with you to take notes. 

Oh yeah. 

Okay, this will be interesting. 

It will. I have no doubt. Thank you once again for joining us today. We hope you have a great day and always remember to keep an eye open for opportunities in life to see a beautiful view.