Today we want to talk about being rooted in love, what it means to build a marriage that's grounded in faith and able to stand through every season. Welcome to the Beautiful View Podcast, where we encourage you to look for opportunities in your life to see a beautiful view. I'm Candy. 

And I'm Paul. February has always been a big deal in our house. 

Oh yeah. 

Not just because of Valentine's Day. 

Nope, we are also. about to celebrate 24 years of marriage, which feels both kind of impossible and kind of very real at the same time. 

Yeah, it feels like a date that belongs on the dash of a DeLorean in some movie. So February in our house is basically a month of love. 

Oh, it is. But not just chocolate and flowers kind of love. 

But real life, we've been through stuff together kind of love. 

And today we want to talk about what it looks like to be rooted in love. How faith shapes a marriage and keeps it steady through all the seasons. 

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the beautiful view. 

So when we say rooted in love, what do you mean by that, Miss Candy? 

Well, when I think of being rooted, the first picture that comes to my mind is It was a tree that we came across back in one of the summers that we were at Camp Chautauqua in Ohio. And we went for a little walk kind of back in the forest area, back behind where we were staying. And this tree had fallen over. It was laying on its side, probably in a storm or something, either the wind or the ground was too wet or something. But it was completely on its side. But the thing that caught my attention was The roots. 

The roots. 

So this tree was on its side. It was still rooted on the bottom side. 

Yes. 

But the roots from the top had grown over and put themselves back in the ground. Like they found their way back to the ground. 

Isn't that crazy? 

And the tree was still, it was still alive. It still was producing leaves, which it was just, It was bizarre, but it was also beautiful too. Yeah. That picture will forever stick in my mind because the time that we were at in our lives in that season, we were both really struggling with our mental health. We were. It was just that tree just completely stopped me in my tracks and just really spoke to my heart that day. Against all odds, it had found a way to thrive. And I just, I love that. Its roots dug deeper. It found the nourishment that it needed from the water down underground, and it was still able to be productive. And I just love that. Marriage is kind of like that tree. We face many hard times in our 24 years of marriage. Yes, we have. We've both struggled with mental health. with loss. But both of us, through all the trauma, the heartache, we stayed rooted in the word and committed to our marriage. So even when the storms came and knocked us over, knocked us sideways, our roots sunk deeper and sustained us. 

Yes. 

For me, being rooted in love means that love isn't just something that we feel. It's something much deeper than that. 

Yes, because feelings can change. Seasons can change. 

Yeah, and sometimes people change too. I would say that neither of us is the same person that we were when we first got married. 

No, for me, thank goodness that I'm not the same. If your marriage is rooted in faith, it's anchored to something deeper than and emotions. 

So what does faith being the root of our marriage mean to you? 

Well, I think that faith is the root of all of our lives, marriage or not. If you realize it or not, it just is. And when I think about the core principle behind faith in life, I think of a compass. At the moment we start to think about faith, that's the moment when we pull that compass out of our pocket and look at it. When I was young, many, many, many years ago, I used to like to go hiking in England in wide open spaces. So One of those places was the New Forest in Hampshire. There was Bodmin Moor or Dartmoor in Cornwall. There was Exmoor in Devon. And in a wide open space, you often do not have physical landmarks to sort of orient yourself. Or in the case of the New Forest, you just, you're surrounded by trees. Yeah. I know that often when I pulled that compass out of my pocket and rotated myself around to face north, I was surprised. I was like, I was for sure like N was that way and I took it out and I'm like, oh, hang on, it's over here. 

For some reason that doesn't really surprise me though. 

There's something about my geographical capabilities is sort of coming out here. But when we live our lives, there are moments where we either voluntarily pull out that compass or there are life events that cause us to do that. And in our marriage, there have been moments, both intentional and circumstantial, where we have had to check our compass. 

Yeah, true. The thing is, oftentimes you don't always see the roots. Oftentimes they're kind of hidden below the surface. 

But if you allow it, you can start to see the results of what happens when your roots are strong. 

We have definitely had different seasons over the past 24 years. 

Yeah, some were sunny. 

Some were definitely cloudy. 

And some were cloudy with a chance of meatballs. 

Oh gosh. What would you say our very first season of our marriage was like? 

Well, our first experience together in person was a week on South Padre Island with palm trees. and all the fun stuff. And along the way to South Padre, we got to stop in San Antonio. So there were beaches and river walks and boat rides and hot tubs and lots and lots of sun. 

It was kind of dreamy, wasn't it? was fantastic. 

We even walked across that bridge to Mexico. 

Back when you could do that. 

Back when you could do that and ate a massive plate of nachos. And I think we paid like 3 bucks for this big plate. 

Oh, that place had the best lemonade too. It was like fresh squeezed, pulp in it. 

I mean, all the things. And the way they came up with the plate and he was like, he just checked over the plate to make sure it was all perfect and then laid it in front of us. It was amazing. 

That was neat. 

Then there were the times that we were apart. because we were waiting for the next stage of our immigration process to go through. And then there was finally the time when we were reunited forever. Forever. I was so relieved that chapter of our life was over and we can now live our lives in pure bliss. Because being together was all that we wanted. 

Yeah, I just remember thinking, I just married my very best friend. How lucky am I? We're so in love. How could anything ever go wrong? But the reality was spending every single day together with someone is a little bit more interesting than I initially imagined in my little fairy tale world. Don't get me wrong, though. There was a lot of bliss. There is a lot of bliss. 

Yes, there is. 

But you also are combining two different backgrounds, two different upbringings, very different upbringings, viewpoints, habits, quirks. We did a whole episode on that one. And you throw in a little bit of baggage. It's not always very fairy tale-ish. 

Is that a word? I think so. 

I don't know if that's a word. I might have just made it up. Then you throw in the trials and troubles that life throws at you together, and things can sure get interesting. What was the point in our early marriage when you realized that we were kind of leaving that initial season. 

That fairy tale? 

The fairy tale season. 

Yeah. There was a moment sometime after our first anniversary, I believe, where I realized that the new was, as fantastic as it was, not going to last. 

Not like that. 

Not like that. And I did bring a lot of baggage into our relationship, not just the two suitcases I brought with me on the plane, but real baggage. Living in Texas was starting to become less like a dream. a vacation or a movie, a Western movie. And it was just starting to become more like home. I remember that sort of like that new feeling of everything, like everywhere I looked, it was like something new to discover and see. And that was starting to wear off, like everything was becoming normal and I was getting used to it. I had a dream career, but that dream career that had just started was starting to become more like a job, the reality of it. And we had begun to sort of relax into ourselves and started to become more real toward each other. I wouldn't say that we had put off our good behavior, But I was definitely on my best behavior. And you can't sustain that for any length of time. So my flaws and faults, they are many, were less easy to hide. They were starting to emerge. As were mine. Well, as were yours, that's true. And you are a very strong person. 

That's a really nice way to say that. 

And I love you for that. So as my quirks were emerging, you were very quick to point those out. So I couldn't ignore those faults and flaws. or apologize them away like I would do. I had to deal with those problems and the changes that I needed to make in my life because our relationship was extremely important to me. And so I needed to make. 

It was important to me too. So it took both of us to do that. 

To do that. Yes. In short, I could see the fantasy that we were so alike was starting to fall apart. 

Yeah, we used to say that all the time, didn't we? All the time. We just have so much in common. We're so alike. Wrong. 

Wrong. This was a season of testing. Was our relationship just a dream? But as the truth about our differences and the symptoms of our fallen state were surfacing, I think we both took notice of the roots that were there all along. 

Of course. And there were seasons where love looked very different. We went through a really hard season back along. Your job demanded the majority of your time. We had little kids at that time, and there were times where I kind of felt abandoned or neglected. You would go to work early, come home late. And by the time that you got home, your fuse was short. You didn't have a lot of patience. You were tired. And so we had a hard time connecting when you were home. That was just a season for me where loved looked more like patience and forgiveness and those kinds of things. And that, honestly, that's where I really started praying for you hard. And that season of our lives is actually what led us into a season where joy came back to our home, our marriage, our family, all of that, our full-time RVing season. 

Oh yeah. 

Can we just hook up the RV and do that again? 

Yes, we can. Just in a while. 

Okay, yeah, All right. Through all the good, the bad, the ugly, we're still going strong all these years later. 

Yes, we are. Not because it was or is easy. 

Yeah, but because we are both deeply rooted in our faith in God and committed to our marriage. Is there a moment that comes to mind when you saw God working in our marriage? 

I can tell you about a shift in my mindset that led to not just to God working in our marriage, but to God actually becoming that third strand in our marriage. And I think that's something that we referred to in the last episode. 

Yeah. 

I used to have the mindset that I needed to become this godly man that you could rely on, you know, stable and So I was building myself into, or building my expectations around being that person so that I could be strong for you and strong for the family. Well, that was kind of a lonely exercise because, For both of us. Right. Because I felt like that was me work. And I know that once we broke away and we went on the road, that was when I realized that actually what we needed to do was work together to become the people that God needed us to be together as a couple. So it was us with God as our compass in life and that we needed to get this thing right together. 

The one thing about roots is you don't always see them. 

But they're doing a lot of work. 

Yeah, there's a verse in Psalm 1 that says, a person who trusts in God is like a tree planted by streams of water that produces fruit in its season. 

I love that because the fruit shows up later. 

Yeah. 

But first, under the ground and very much behind the scenes, the roots have to be working. 

What would you say are some behind the scenes things that have strengthened our marriage? 

I already referred to it, but the process that happened in the RV when we went full-time on the road was very real. 

Yeah. 

The majority of our time up to that point had been lived out as ministers in a church. 

Fish in a goldfish bowl. 

Yes, exactly. 

That's what it felt like sometimes. 

Reality was definitely encouraged, and we were encouraged along the way to do all the right things. But what actually happened was that we found ourselves performing on the stage of a church, living everything out there for all to see, while having little energy or creativity once we got home. That was definitely true for me, and to some extent, I believe you felt that too. 

Yeah, sure. 

Once we left that world, everything we did as a couple and as a family was very real. We were no longer trying to live up to our positions and titles. We became Paul and Kenny, husband and wife, mom and dad. That was where the real work happened. Every day I could instantly see the effect that my words and actions were having on the people that mattered to me the most. And I wanted to change that. We started reading the Bible separately, but reading the same plan at the same time so we could compare notes. So that led to conversations about what we actually believed about God and our faith. And we started to learn about the reality of faith in our family and in our relationship. we started to be the people that God designed us to be. 

We did. And I think a lot of times people only see the fruit. 

Yes. 

Right? They don't see the work underground, kind of like the tree roots are hidden under the ground. There's a lot of work that happens underground. When we were in ministry, people only saw the results of a well-planned service a lot of times. 

Yes. 

They didn't see what the time involved to put on that well-planned service was doing to our family at home. Our listeners even get to see the results, the fruit of this podcast production, but they don't see the hours and hours that go into the research and script creation, recording, editing, publishing, all of those kinds of things. That's how our marriage is too. I've actually had people say to me, about how perfect our marriage is and how they wish they could have a marriage just like us. And how much I hate that word perfect. You do hate that word. There's nothing perfect. 

I've almost stopped myself from saying it. 

Yes, Let me tell you, there is a lot of underground work that goes into a good marriage. 

Yes, there is. 

Including ours. The difference in these two scenarios is that our podcast actually kind of helps feed our marriage instead of taking from it? 

Really does. So what fruit do you see now that came from earlier hard seasons in our life? 

I would say that the fruit in our marriage that's been built is trust, first off, a deeper friendship, relationship. 

For sure. 

Peace in our home. better communication, and a lot more stability. Another verse that really fits this idea of roots is Jeremiah 17, verses 7 and 8. It says, but blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green and they never stop producing fruit. 

I love that it talks about heat and drought. We have had seasons of heat and drought in our marriage. Long stretches of literal and spiritual drought in the Permian Basin in Texas. Absolutely, absolutely. Where it was sometimes extremely difficult to find enough water to sustain our faith and our family. 

Yeah, and it says in those verses that the tree still stays green. Like the tree I talked about earlier, It didn't have ideal conditions. It obviously faced a storm and got knocked over. But since it was deeply rooted, it survived. And not only did it survive, it was able to make some adjustments and keep its roots intact and thrive. During our toughest seasons, God kept us steady through our shared faith, communication, and a whole lot of prayer. When things get hard, I've learned to go to Him. I read scripture, I journal, I pray. Those are the things that keep me grounded. 

So being rooted in love doesn't mean that we avoid hard things. 

It means we don't have to face them alone. 

It means instead of drying up when we face heat, drought, or storms in life... 

Our roots just grow down deeper. 

Yes. 

Strong marriages don't escape the heat, the droughts, or the storms. They grow deeper through it when they are deeply rooted. 

And that is today's beautiful view. 

Thank you for joining us today. Our hope is always to inspire and encourage our listeners. So no matter what season you're in, just dreaming, engaged, newly married, struggling, thriving, roots can still grow. 

So here's our challenge for you this week. Ask yourself, what ground am I rooted in? And where is my marriage planted? 

This can be a little uncomfortable if you aren't used to doing it, but I promise, the more you do these little things, the easier it gets. 

So pick one of these things to do with your spouse this week. Okay, you can pray together. Have one honest conversation. Say thank you for something small that your partner does for you. write down what season you think you're in. 

And if this episode encouraged you today, we would love for you to share it with someone else that you think might enjoy it. And as always, thank you for being a part of this community. We're grateful you're here and we're honored to walk this journey with you. 

If you like what we do here at the Beautiful View Podcast, you can show your appreciation by becoming a supporting member for only $5 a month. Your support helps cover our production costs. The link for you to sign up is in our show notes. 

Yeah, and also be sure to follow the Beautiful View podcast on Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok. Those links are in our show notes. 

At the end of each episode, we like to find out what the next one will be about. So what's it going to be next time? 

Well, the next time on Beautiful View Podcast, we're going to be talking with our friend Jim. 

Jim. 

He's a history teacher, a young father, and someone who's walking out his faith in a very real way. This episode is going to be called Building a Life That Matters. 

Yes, he opens up about his story, the pressure of trying to be a better husband and dad, and how God is working in his life right now. If you've ever wondered whether God can use you right where you are, this episode is for you. 

Yeah, and I think a lot of people are going to see themselves in Jim's story. 

Oh yes, I think so too. He's just trying to do the right thing as a husband and as a dad and as a man of faith. And God is meeting him right where he's at. So don't miss this one. 

Thank you once again for joining us today. We hope you have a great day. And remember to always keep Keep an eye open for opportunities in life to see a beautiful view. 

Yes. 

Have a good one. See you next time.